41 Weeks Down…Day 288
“We wrestle not against flesh and blood…” I keep trying to remind myself of this, but sometimes the flesh is way stronger. It is so frustrating to me that no matter how positive I keep trying to be, something always keeps coming up. Everytime I stand up, brush myself off and keep moving, I take one step forward and five back. I know that there are people going through way worse trials and have even more stres on their plate, so why do they seem to be handling it much better than I?
I realized why saying goodbye after R&R was so much harder than the first one in some ways. Even though R wasn’t leaving for a year this time, I knew the hell that I had to face when the “vacation” was over. Some people just live for drama and making other people miserable. Others just have to make everything all about them. It doesn’t matter that you’re going through the most trying year of your life all alone in a big city trying to support your fiance and best friend on a deployment, rather than try to lift me up they tear me down. I don’t think i’m a weak person because I care and want people to like me or at least not treat me like a doormat. How come you can be nothing but nice to people and sometimes it just doesn’t work? I wish some people would just take a step back and think of the question mom used to always ask us, “How would you feel if they treated you like that?” It change your whole outlook on a situation. I gues some people weren’t raised by awesome parents like I was….
I’m getting back into running. I have to get in shape before R gets home and stay that way for the wedding. I’d like to not have a million alterations on my dress. Plus, I just want to be healthier and to feel better about myself again. Running is such a big stress reliever for me too. I blast some rock music and it makes me push myself further and to forget about all of the stress in my life right now….even if just for a few minutes.
I’ll be so glad when everything eases up…if only for a bit. The only thing I can really do about the situations is to keep praying. Praying that God will open their eyes and turn their hearts. Praying that He’ll provide a hedge of protection for me and to help me deal with it in the way that He would have me. I’m thinking I need some more quiet times…
Making it day by day….