47 Weeks Down…Day 332
I will never understand people who feel the need to tear other people down. Over the past few months i’ve heard a lot of negativity from people about me and Ryan. People have made comments about me needing to “get used” to him being gone or to not be sad. Anyone that has truly been through a real deployment knows that you never “get used” to it…you just learn to deal. For those of us who are actually in love with our significant other, we want to spend time with them and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Of course it’s going to make us sad to be away from each other and sometimes it does get the best of you.
I also hear that I should “share” Ryan or learn to have a life without him and that irritates me more than anything…especially since i’ve heard it all deployment and it’s really starting to get under my skin. First, Ryan is not property. He chooses who he wants to be with and when. Why can’t people tell him this and not me? It’s perfectly normal for him to want to spend time with his new fiance and future bride. Second, a man and woman leave their families/friends to create a marriage and family of their own. This does not mean that they don’t love their families/friends just the same; but you start your own life and chase your own future, your own careers. I’m pretty sure i’ve had a “life” outside of Ryan all year and we’re going to apart a LOT with the army. Neither of us have blinders on, but it does mean we’ll want to spend even more time together when he is actually home. When people are mean to him it hurts me worse than if they were to hurt me directly…and it works both ways. We are one now and I am so thankful to have a good, Christian man that puts me first and understands a Christian marriage.
On a positive, I have learned who my true friends are. I have people that called and texted me on a regular basis to make sure that I was okay…and not just when it suited them. Granted most of us are caught up in our own lives and I don’t expect people to feel sorry for me. I am just beyond thankful for the people who really do love me as much as I love them and that are there for me when I need the most…in the good times and the bad. It’s like the old saying, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” These are the people who I want by my side on the most important day of my life, the ones I want to share the births of my children with, the ones I call when anything good or bad happens. God gives us these people to help us on the rough journey of life and I love them all dearly.
I think that Ryan and I have done awesome through the deployment. We felt our way through something that neither of us had experienced before (at least from these positions) and managed to learn about each other and grow in love. We handled this in the best way that we knew how and we’re almost at the end. We didn’t just survive…we thrived! Above all, I am thankful that we are almost done with this whole thing and the next chapter is going to be amazing!! We have a wedding to plan, a marriage foundation to build, and a “normal” relationship to construct. I couldn’t imagine a better man to be doing all of these things with and I couldn’t be more anxious and excited!