As I write this, i’m sitting next to the window at my parents’ camp in Maine. Everything is blissfully quiet; the lake/pond is frozen and life is beautifully serene and snow covered. My wonderful husband was able to be home with me and we got to visit with my parents and many members of our family on this visit home. Life is so full and happy at the moment. When you’re newlyweds and members of an Army family that is frequently separated, you learn to appreciate every little small joy that life gives you and save it in the memory bank.
I came upon a blog this morning on Huffington Post talking about habits of happy couples and they all ring true to me. Recently I have seen friends of mine on Facebook posting about how people shouldn’t show their joy online and there should be no sign of a happy relationship. Ummm, what? Why would you want to hide your happiness? I’ve turned this over and over in my mind since these first started popping up and I’ve seen nothing of the sort backed up by reputable psychologists or marriage counselors. These people that post these pictures/articles are the very same who told me that “Marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be”. This makes me so sad that they’re still misguided in their views on the most important relationship they’ll ever enjoy.
Ryan and I are almost 10 months into our marriage and blissfully happy. Yes, we are still in the newlywed phase and we plan on dragging that out for the first 70 years or so of our marriage. 🙂 We have been blessed to know many friends who have had long, happy marriages and are still as in love as we are…if not more so. They all say the same things to us: Be happy. Be a positive light for marriage. Never hide your happiness and never believe all of the negativity. On the same token, we have had friends who were struggling in bad relationships that have said that they now see that there can be happiness and that that is not what marriage is supposed to be.
My personal, unprofessional opinion (at least until I graduate and am a true counselor) is that there is way too much negativity about marriage and not enough positivity. We have become a society where it is okay to tease and make fun of our spouses on social media, to their faces and behind their backs but we tell others that they can’t be mushy. How much sense does this make? I say show young people that marriage is a blessing and not a curse and that the dating part of your relationship never has to end. We are much happier now then when we were dating or engaged and I refuse to hide that.
Finally, as my Aunt and Uncle reminded us last night: You will never please everyone, so focus on your own happiness.
~Melissa Grim, Blissfully Happy Wife