Thankful for Life and Balancing Carefully

There is a saying I’ve heard my whole life: “There just aren’t enough hours in a day!”  This is so true for me at the moment (and i’m sure for everyone at one point or another), and we don’t even have children yet.  I’m taking a total of 15 credit hours this semester toward my Master’s degree, and i’m beginning to think that I had WAY too much faith in myself.  After reviewing all of the courses that I must take prior to my Practicum/Internship next Spring, I had to up my course load.  While I am loving my classes and counseling/psychology is so interesting to me, everything is a bit overwhelming at times.  I have so much self-doubt and it takes much encouragement from my husband to not want to run away crying at times!  I am praying that God is able to use all of this in the future and that I can make a difference in the lives of our military and their families.

This month has been slightly overwhelming in and of itself.  My sister gave birth to our beautiful new niece earlier this month and developed complications in the delivery.  I am so thankful that God answered our prayers (and MUCH begging) and she has made a miraculous recovery, but it was one of the scariest things we all have ever experienced.  The following week we had a Blackhawk helicopter at Ryan’s unit make a hard landing in which two were injured and we lost a hero.  My heart still goes out to the family and friends of this hero and it hits so close to home that our guys are NEVER safe…even when they are not deployed.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore life in the military and I barely know a life outside of it since this is how I grew up.  We have a community like no other (and that is WAY more true in the Spec Ops family) and no one else truly understands the pressures that each other faces.  I would not trade our life for anything.  However, sometimes it is so very exhausting.  Ryan and I were talking this weekend about how our entire relationship has been one big countdown from the time we first started dating.  By the time we have been married 1 year he will have been gone for 5 1/2 months of that…and that is with no deployments!  That does not bode well for the next few years.  Again, I’m trying hard not to complain, but I almost miss the 1 year deployments because at least he was guaranteed to be home for at least 9 months after completing a tour.  He has had 3 training schools and 2 TDY’s trips since we got married.  As we said this weekend, it can be tiring trying to fit your “life” into a few short week blocks of time.  I know there are people who have it worse, and I know I should appreciate what I get…but sometimes it just stinks.

All of these experiences have reminded me to appreciate every day that we are given.  Life is one day at a time and we shouldn’t get too far ahead of ourselves or take a single moment for granted.  I say it all the time, but family is everything!  You definitely learn in times of crisis who is truly by your side and who loves you the most!  Sometimes your blood family leaves you and there is only so much you can do…establish family around you.  Let go of the little things.  Apologize when necessary and let go of your pride.  Make every effort to be there for those who are important to you.  Cherish every moment.

“Embrace the Journey”


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