It took us almost 2 years since we started on the journey to have children, 10 months of seeing our favorite RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist), 3 failed rounds of superovulation and our successful IVF treatment cycle, and now 29 weeks since all of our embryos were created and we brought home these two sweet babies in Mommy. One heck of an incredible journey so far (and still nowhere near as long as some of our friends)!
As terrified as we both were to begin IVF and knew that it was our last hope that we had of our dreams ever coming true, we prayed endlessly that God would keep His hands on us and all of our babies. The whole process ended up being the most beautiful journey and I look back on all of the good and the bad with such fondness, because it created our sweet miracles!
Before we ever began fertility treatments, we knew that twins were a possibility and that we would transfer both of our embryos to have the best chance of conception. (Although, with super-ovulation or any other non-IVF treatment it should be much lower as a doctor should be monitoring VERY closely to prevent too many as it can be dangerous, hence why OB/GYN’s should not be handling infertility, but I digress). We know that life begins at the moment of conception, so before we began IVF we prayed that God would allow us to keep both of our babies. We knew we wouldn’t be able to handle losing one of them.
*On a side note, i’ve always wanted twins. When I was a little girl I had twin dolls that I carried everywhere and told everyone that one day I was going to be a twin mommy. Of course, my family and some of my little friends thought I was crazy even back then and everyone has always told me they’re “too much work”. In typical Melissa fashion, i’ve always gone against the grain and proved everyone wrong. 🙂 I believe God was just preparing my heart for this role he had for me.*
After all of that, it saddens and literally hurts me to hear the negative comments that people make regarding parenting and pregnancies, and especially twins. Since we’ve gotten pregnant, we’ve heard “I HATED being pregnant”, “Better you than me”, and “OMG, you guys are crazy for wanting more than one”, and the worst: “You’re having TWINS?! Keep that away from me…I don’t want to catch it!” And they REALLY get shocked to find out that we’re not done having kids (Lord willing). “Oh, you’ll change your mind once they get here.” I’ve even had a couple of friends get pregnant with twins after making some of those comments, and I hope that God turns their hearts. If people only had a tiny clue as to what we went through to be here they would rejoice with us. These babies of ours are the biggest miracle that we prayed for endlessly! We spent thousands of dollars to have them and it took 20 negative cycles, 3 failed rounds of treatments, endless tests and one miraculous IVF/ICSI cycle to conceive them. Babies are such an amazing blessing and twins are so magical!
Maybe people just don’t see unless you’ve suffered through miscarriages and/or years of infertility. Struggles often make you respect things much more and see things more clearly. We don’t take a single moment for granted and all of the little milestones in pregnancy we celebrate even more! We never had the “freakout” moment that most do with twins, because they were an answer to our prayers! Yes, I even prayed for the nausea, stretch marks, and pain so why wouldn’t I rejoice that i’m able to experience it all?! It’s so difficult to know the struggles we endured and the many more that some of our friends have and to see people taking it all for granted after being handed miracles.
Don’t get me wrong, we have people who are truly happy for us and our growing family, but I really wish people would think before making comments. Those are our babies, our precious miracles that we prayed for endlessly that you’re talking bad about. Not a day goes by that we don’t continue to pray for their health and safety or thank God for giving them to us to raise. It’s a responsibility and a privilege that we never take lightly. Do we have rose colored glasses on and think that it’s going to be easy? Absolutely not. It’s going to be a lot of work and it’s surely going to teach us a lot more about ourselves and our marriage, but it’s a “job” that we are anxiously awaiting!
~PROUD TWIN MOMMY